He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
We are all done wearing pants today
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
