Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Holy sore nipples Batman
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
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