I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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