Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
My breasts were aching with rage.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
