Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
On Saturday, I sharted on my roommates dog while trying to make it smell my farts. Today I got security clearance to work for one of the most respected and secretive govt agencies in the US
It's the American dream
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Randomize
