id be glad to
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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