How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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