puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
