I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
