so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Randomize
