i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
Randomize
