Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Randomize
