yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
