from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
