belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
Soap is not a condiment
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
