S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
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