you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
