Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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