Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
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