so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
