dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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