I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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