Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
