I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
