Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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