Do vagina's smell?
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Randomize
