I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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