a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
