Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Randomize
