took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
You're breaking my sexual little heart
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Randomize
