she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
