he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
They have beer where we have blood.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Randomize