Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
