I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
then he tried to convert me to islam
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Randomize
