It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
