i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
If I die, sorry about rent.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Randomize
