I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
