just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
