Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
i wish my penis had a tongue
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Randomize
