Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
They left me at home... I'm a liability
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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