I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
