I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
