all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Randomize
