You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
