You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
