Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
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