I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Sorry my hands just texted you
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Randomize
