I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
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