my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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