i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
